Oh, How I Amuse Myself: Comments on Weird Wal-Mart, Missing Teeth, & Falmouth’s Fake History

If we can’t laugh at ourselves…

After reading this WSJ article titled “Today’s Special at Wal-Mart: Something Weird” that I clicked through from a Gawker story, one comment lead to another, and before I knew it, I was teaching a history lesson about Falmouth, Mass. unlike anyone had ever heard before.

This is about as highbrow as I get, I’m usually more of a fart joke connoisseur, or this kind of humor.

Gawker Comments - Weird Falmouth Massachusetts History

Transcript of Comments:

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bunda3d:

That’s a very interesting article on weird Wal-Mart goings-on.

A shopper at a Wal-Mart in Falmouth, Mass., uncovered a dental mystery two years ago when she found 10 human teeth inside a wallet for sale that was imported from Asia.

“I wanted to investigate it further but my supervisor said it wasn’t worth the trip to Taiwan,” says Falmouth police detective James Pires. ”

[Link to Wal-Mart Article]

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yourfriendandneighbor:

Can’t believe no one’s brought up the oddness of the town being called Falmouth.

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bunda3d:

Even more strange:

Falmouth, MA
The village (founded 1705) was originally named “Indentured” on account of the colonists settling there often entered into servitude to pay their oversea voyage fees.

The town’s name was changed to “Toofless” in 1823 after their beloved patriarch and mayor Thomas Toof died.

The change to “Falmouth” happened in 1948 as a condition of Ms. Lada “Foul Mouth” Demidov, an illiterate “self-made” wealthy Russian emigre & furniture retailer. She bailed the city out of a municipal bond crisis in exchange for an official name change after her. The city council convinced her that “Falmouth” would look better on a map than “Foul Mouth,” yet still preserve her memory for posterity.

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See what I did there? With the toothy town names? Eh? I hope we all learned something new today.