Conservatives: When Facts Get In The Way, Revise History Textbooks

TOPIC: FANCY BOOK LEARNIN’
Conservatives Continue Their War on ‘Things That Actually Happened’.

Student: Why did we have a “Civil War”?
Teacher: It was a war over slavery.
Student: Why did we have slavery?
Teacher: Our founding fathers wrote into the Constitution that black people were not people, but property, and less-than human; equaling 3/5ths of a man.
Student: Why doesn’t it say that in my History book?
Teacher: Because a group of protesters called the Tea Twats decided that even though they can’t spell their protest signs correctly, they should dictate the removal of facts from your text-books. They like to make up history as it suits them so they can doom others to repeat its mistakes.

What’s the Conservative Protest Movement Doing to Advance Education in America? Pretending Slavery Wasn’t Important.

Tea parties issue demands to Tennessee legislators
Among 5 priorities, state group wants kinder treatment of Founding Fathers in history courses

• By Richard Locker | Posted January 13, 2011 at midnight

About two dozen tea party activists held a news conference, then met with lawmakers individually to present their list of priorities and “demands” for the 2011 legislative session that opened Tuesday.

Regarding education, the material they distributed said, “Neglect and outright ill will have distorted the teaching of the history and character of the United States. We seek to compel the teaching of students in Tennessee the truth regarding the history of our nation and the nature of its government.”

“The thing we need to focus on about the founders is that, given the social structure of their time, they were revolutionaries who brought liberty into a world where it hadn’t existed, to everybody — not all equally instantly — and it was their progress that we need to look at,” said Rounds…

They must have rubbed their 2 collective brain-cells together until a spark flew out and burned a series of grunts onto a piece of paper, which the media generously called “demands”. The effort likely caused most of them to shit themselves and drool out a lispy “Don’t Tread on Duh”.

Dumfucks an there sines

“While not all stupid people are conservatives, all conservatives are stupid people” ~John Stuart Mill