posted in: Rants 0

Jack is 5 years old. For at least a year or two, we’ve really enjoyed his version of certain words.

Here are some of them–in use between age 3 and present age 5.5–with some no longer in use:

  • Soft Drinks:
    • Root Beard
    • Sprike (Sprite)
  • Entertainment:
    • Neck Flicks (Netflix)
  • When Someone is Being Unoriginal, re: Lego Building, Paper/Crayon Art Projects, Driveway Gravel Engineering (They have 2 sand boxes, but insist on making all sorts of speed bump-type mounds and canals in the drive):
    • She compied me. (Jack’s 7-yr-old sister is known to use this turn of phrase also)
  • Outraged Missives:
    • Jesus Christ! (No idea where he could’ve picked that one up from…[Author looks away])
    • Get this damn baby off the table! (When his 22-mo-old brother stands on the table and uses everyone’s plates as his personal smorgasboard like he’s some Roman emperor at a brothel–taking chips and dipping them inappropriately in side dishes, fingering entrees; Dinner Table Riverdancing Coyote Ugly-style when everyone is way too sober for such fare, etc.)
Jack insists on being part of an Ebay listing photo
Jack insists on being part of an Ebay listing photo
  • National Fast Food Chains:
    • Old MacDonald’s (Gramma took us to Old MacDonald’s)
  •  Dishes:
    • Genical Chicken (General’s Chicken)
  •  Reminiscing:
    • A time ago… (a lot of things happened a time ago)
  • Sea Life:
  • Mohawk:
    • More Hog (apparently the best hairstyle)

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